Whale Sharks

We swam with whale sharks for the second time last week. It was an amazing and exhilarating experience. I came home and was immediately regretful that I didn’t swim with them every opportunity that presented itself and started to contemplate when I might next be able to swim with the sharks, which is now likely to be next year as the whale shark "season" has ended. The sharks are huge, gentle, amazing, beautiful and the experience is overwhelming, in a really good way. How grateful I feel to be able to have this experience.

Let me set the scene. Boat ride into the Bay. See Whale Sharks. Put on flippers, grab mask and snorkel. Jump off boat. Get bumped by a whale shark. Hyperventilate. Drink salt water. Gather wits. Breathe deeply. Put head under water and start to snorkel with sharks. Shriek through snorkel as one comes so close you can see its pores (okay, I couldn’t really see its pores). Calm down, swim with sharks. Every now and again make sure boat is still in your vicinity. Every now and again make sure spouse is still in your vicinity (in that order….). Swim with sharks until you are exhausted. (Repeat next week??)

Grocery Shopping

I know that it is hard to imagine what grocery shopping means to me, butonce a wee I hit the town to gather what we need. I usually try to go the day that the produce train rolls in from Ethiopia. The Djiboutian government recently bull-dozed the traditional open-air market and we now all travel a bit outside of the town limits to a new, fancy covered market. This new market is meant to be an improvement in many ways from the old market area. It is self-contained, there is no traffic, and pedestrian traffic is kept within the confines of the market area. The market is also covered with a corrugated tin roof. The first time I went to this market was about three weeks after it opened, because we had been in the States. Each week since, the filth and number of flies have seemed to multiply. There doesn’t appear to be a drainage system of any kind and I can only imagine what it will smell like when it is 110 degrees vs. 90 degrees.

After the produce market, I go on to the various grocery stores in no particular order... I go to Nougaprix for meat and produce that I can’t find at the open air market. From Nougaprix, I go on to Tom Thumb Bakery for croissants. From Tom Thumb on to the Casino grocery, which is a French grocery and has neater packages then Nougaprix, but not much different options, but at Casino you can buy ham and pork products. From Casino, I move on to the Heron Market, where I buy my eggs. If we are having a party I go to BB Modi’s to buy soft drinks and alcohol.

What I forgot about grocery shopping being so time consuming and a traveling adventure, is that this process turns you in to a hoarder. When you see anything that is hard to come by on the shelves, you tend to buy all that you see. For example, tahini is a hot commodity, only one grocery store carries it and when it comes in stock, it sells out in a day or two – so you buy three or four bottles. Cream cheese, same thing. So, I often buy the things in copious quantities.

To continue the scene setting of what it means to grocery shop, every price at the open air market is negotiable. There is a certain amount of price setting, for example, apples are typically 500 franc a kilo (which is $2.82), because I buy 2 kilos every week from the same vendor, I can often get my 2 kilos for 800 franc, ($4.51 US). If I had the desire I could negotiate every price that I pay at the vegetable and fruit market, but I usually end up getting fairly good prices because I go to the same vendors every week, without having to haggle. On top of the prices being negotiable, the vegetables and fruit are organic in a different sense than the organic produce we get in the States – I mean they come directly from a field in Ethiopia where the field really wasn’t treated with anything, where the soil is naturally fertilized in ways we don’t want to even consider, and the produce is grown from seeds that are truly in their natural state. So, tomatoes are not red, oranges are not orange, lemons are not yellow, mangoes are not red when ripe, bananas are brown, the papayas are pitted. The vegetables and fruit, when in season, are beyond delicious – but I often have to buy 2 kilos of tomatoes to get ½ kilo of nice tomatoes.

On meat, I go to the Yemeni grocery, Nougaprix, where they have meat (beef and sometimes chicken) from Ethiopia which is much, much less expensive than meat from France, the other option. Because the Yemeni grocery is a Muslim grocery, they butcher right there in the humane and appropriate way for Islam (which is something like with a sharp knife by hand). If I want hamburger (steak hache) – I pick the chunk of meat from the display window that I like, the butcher then trims all of the fat off of the meat, and then grinds the amount that I want. If I tell him that I want hamburgers, he then goes in the back and gets a little metal press and forms them into hamburger shape for me. If I want steak or tenderloin it is the same process. I point to the side of beef that looks good and they trim the meat to my specifications.

If we buy things that are largely desired only by ex-pats, we pay out the waa-zoo for those items. Cream cheese is $11 a block, Cheddar cheese $16.00 a block, pepperoni $25.00 a package, celery $20 a bunch! You are only able to pay those ridiculous prices if you can find the items!! Sometimes I will go into the grocery stores and all of the shelves will be wiped out, because a container ship has been stuck in customs or the flights haven’t come in.

While my first noise memory in Ethiopia was the hyenas, here it is the scrawny feral cats that are everywhere. I choose not to wonder what they are screeching about, when I hear the blood-curdling cat screech. The cats are pretty, but really, really thin. We have lizards of some type all over our property. I can’t decide if the lizards are nocturnal or if they only come out when it is a bit cooler at dusk. We also seem to have predatory birds that live near our compound. When I hear them squawking I again, choose not to wonder if it is the cats or the lizards they are after.

The kids have enjoyed the few shocked shrieks I have let out when a lizard has scurried around me, particularly when I am walking outside to the washer and dryer and a lizard is RIGHT there.

The ocean air greets you every time you exit a building or a car. It is moist and salty. The neighborhood we live in is called Heron, but I have yet to see one. The ocean views from our house are of flat water, the landscape changes very little with the tide. There is a beach, not far from our house that is used by the Djiboutians. The kids feel it is only a matter of time before I expose my white flesh on the beach, when I do; I will let you know how it goes. I will probably be the only person NOT there to poo and bathe.

Slow Food

For those of you who have jumped on the “slow-food” concept, that is the story of my day to day existence. For example, today I have made pesto pasta, cooked chicken breasts to put on top of the pesto pasta, cut up mango, apple, papaya and oranges, have bread dough rising, and have made deviled eggs and it is just 11:00 a.m. Not that this is a crazy amount of cooking, but it is more than I was doing in Virginia, and I cook a lot. I had forgotten how long it takes to clean and bleach all of the produce and we currently have ONE cooking pot in the house, which makes cooking take a bit longer ---- of course only one burner on our stove top works, so at this point extra pots would do no good!

I am getting up in the morning and making breakfast before the kids and EJ leave the house, usually around 7:30. I clean the kitchen after that and then mosey around, putting things away and organizing and alphabetizing the few things we have here, then start lunch prep. Kids and EJ come home around 12:30. Max is done with school every day at that time, and half of the week Olivia returns to school at 3:00 after coming home for lunch and rest/siesta. After everyone feeds, it is back to clean up and unfortunately I am still at the stage; one week in, of worrying about what I can make for the next meal that everyone will eat.

The grocery stores have everything that you could want, however, they all close from 12:30 – 4:00 or so each day (except one, that happens to be the furthest from our residence), so planning ahead is important. And, while there are all of the ingredients you could want to cook from scratch, you can’t just find the ingredients to make typical American dishes. Sure, you can find all of the ingredients to make lasagna – but then you have to “find” the two hours and desire to assemble the lasagna and just like in Addis, while one grocery has ricotta cheese, the other has the good ground beef, so you make multiple stops to get the ingredients for one meal. Not complaining, just the facts. Food is quite expensive as everything is imported; I paid $25 for a kilo of sliced ham the other day. There are two French grocery stores that have very normal items and incredibly expensive cheeses and meat and there is one “Arabic” grocery store that has a large selection of some scary and some normal products and then various other stores that have a little bit of everything, including one that is open 24 hours a day. There is a bakery downtown, Tom Thumb Bakery. The bakery has fluffy croissants and pain de chocolate and pain de raisins, which the kids devour as if they are brownies.

Arta Beach

September 21, 2009
Yesterday we went on our first adventure, out of the city. We went to a beach on the Gulf of Tadjoura that is located about 45 minutes from our house. It may have taken us longer to get there as the last 15 kilometers were unpaved road and we caravanned in with three other families from the community.

The scenery was what we expected as we left the city, rocky, sandy, red-dirt with camels and baboons along the way, groupings of goats eating garbage and swarms of kids brandishing their post-Ramadan toy weapons. It is going to take me awhile to get used to the kids aiming their toy Kalashnikovs at us when we drive by.

We drove by a couple of military installations on the way, a Djiboutian installation, French and a French Foreign Legion. The French Foreign Legion installation has a zip line and rope course to be envious of; we are going to try to figure out what it would take to be able to use the zip line that goes straight into the ocean!

If you look on a map of Djibouti, the name of the town where the beach is located is Arta.

The beach is on a cove, pebbly with ledges around. The view from the beach is of the North side of the bay and includes the hills in the distance. The water is a beautiful green color. The best part of the beach is that when the tide is high, you walk out 100 yards and there is a drop off onto a coral reef. I couldn’t tell how deep the first drop off was, but the water temperature changed by 15 degrees or so and it was clear down to the sandy bottom. The reef was an amazing surprise, as I had been told that there was great snorkeling at the beach but I couldn’t really fathom that we were going to see tropical fish, parrot fish, angel fish, anemones, sea urchin, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish… When the tide went out, the reef was 10 feet from the beach, simply amazing.

I have been told that the whale sharks come right up into the reef area where the drop off is, and I can’t wait to go back when they will be there, they usually arrive in the Bay sometime during October.

The kids had a great time; Max used his newly acquired in Pensacola, snorkel gear. Olivia worked through here fear of the fish touching her! The day was a nice reprieve from the house, school, and the city, we picnicked.

We are looking forward to the arrival of the rest of our snorkeling, scuba equipment and our camping gear, so that we can drive out there and stay for the weekend. Am going to get the kids snorkel vests, though, as it is so clear and beautiful that it is easy to be floating and looking at the little fishes and all of the sudden realize you are hundreds and hundreds of feet away from where you started, which can make adult, accomplished snorkelers feel panic.

Inviting myself....

I invited my family to stay in the house of one of our family friends after witnessing the unease that the kids were feeling at the hotel. I think that there is something about the transient nature of the hotel that increases anxiety – they know we aren’t there because of vacation; there is discomfort in the stay. It made my Mama Bear come out.

When I say that I invited myself, it isn’t as if we aren’t welcome or wouldn’t have received invitations to stay, it is just that I was certain that my master-planned calendar of how we were going to move was thoughtful. I had planned on us staying in a hotel, that is what I told everyone. Turns out my plans weren’t as well thought out as I had hoped.

Here is where I made mistakes.

The first was moving out of our house as early as we did – July 15. When the kids were itty bitty, this would have been fine, we would have just gone and plopped at one or both of the Grandma’s and whiled away the summer, with a few adventures intertwined in the time. We were lucky that I was able to find us a housesitting gig, which again I initiated that kept us in one spot (other than when we were visiting people) until last weekend when the gig ended.

The reality is that instead of just vacationing, I have tried to honor Olivia’s (13) social needs and soccer team requirements – she wants to be where there are friends for her to see and her routine is somewhat normal. I have tried to cater to Max (8) who just needs a routine and comfort. He wants to know what time we are eating, what time we are going here and there, who we will see, where we are sleeping. His spirit of adventure doesn’t run much beyond what I plan for him at this stage in his life. He loves to play and is social, but he just wants to know that EJ, Olivia and I are all where we are supposed to be.

We sent our dog to be with Grandma in Maine until we get to our destination. We aren’t traveling straight through and we want the dog to fly as direct as possible because of the heat. And, we just aren’t sure the climate of our future home is going to be suitable for a Border Collie, whereas at Grandma’s she is catered to – lengthy walks and golf ball fetching (Grandma chips them and Border Collie fetches.) and the weather in Maine is perfect for her. The mistake was sending the dog away so soon, it has been two weeks now. The kids miss her. I miss her. The dog has been a good friend and a soft and fluffy “pillow” with empathetic brown eyes to snuggle in to when you aren’t having your best day. When we arrived at our friends’ house and her chocolate lab greeted us, both the kids at separate times commented on how much they miss our dog or being near a dog.

The last error (for now, at least) was not finding time for the four of us: me, EJ and the kids, to take a vacation or spend time together. EJ will be working right up until we leave and we are flying over separately – him going in one direction and the kids and I in another, and just meeting at the destination. It would have been really valuable time for us, if we had figured out a way to unwind and center ourselves together.

So, these are lessons that I am learning. Luckily they have just created a bit of discomfort and not pain. The next time we move, I am going to have to take a harder and more pragmatic look at what the needs of the family will be.

The good news is that we are getting the things on our to-do list checked off. The update from the last list is that we have our visas, we have our malaria prophylaxis and the kids have shoes other than flip-flops and cleats (seriously all that was in our luggage). We are making it to all of our appointments, having last minute hurrahs with friends and the kids keep getting the “what a fabulous opportunity and experience this move will be” party line reinforced, which is so powerful when it comes from other people. Tears are being shed, but it seems to be with less frequency.

I am cooking away at our friends house, which is really cathartic and I am so, so glad she opened up her kitchen to me. (The plus for her is that I am filling her freezer with food, too!) My family loves getting their favorite meals and baked treats and having a place where they can play with a dog, play outside and just relax.